Evelyn Durrant

A big congratulations to Shelly Weber, winner of this year’s challenge.  She did an amazing job and well-deserved her win.  She will continue to be an inspiration to all of us as she enters her maintenance phase of life.  I wish that was the phase I am entering, but not now.  I finished well and I’m proud of myself.  Everything I could change, I did.  Some in small ways, some in big ways.  But oddly enough, I began this competition at a great disadvantage that I didn’t fully see until I got my final results last night.  Nearly half of the categories of competition relate to cholesterol.  And believe it or not, for a fat, diabetic, hypertensive former couch potato, I had really good cholesterol.  When I listened to some of the ladies’ cholesterol numbers, I realized how lucky I am not to have that added issue.  It didn’t help in the competition, but cholesterol is a huge risk factor that I simply don’t have, regardless of how I eat or exercise (not that it wouldn’t have been in the future, mind you).  My good cholesterol is a bit on the low side, and I raised it 6 points, but everything else was well below the normal ranges.  How do you account for that?  Probably genetics.  Same thing that accounts to some degree for my hypertension and diabetes, which does run in my family, both my parents have both.  And Shelly’s high numbers may be genetic, too, however with good diet and exercise, she changed that 100 points!  Which brings me to my final request to all of you:  get a check-up.  Shelly had no idea when she started how high her cholesterol was, in her words she was just trying to lose a few vanity pounds.  You can see from her photo she was small to start with, but a hidden killer lurked.  So take that first step toward better care for yourself, find out where you stand with all of these health concerns.  You might be pleasantly surprised at some results, and terrified of others.  Either way, it’s important to know where you are so that you can set goals for where you need to be.  Don’t put it off, don’t let the risk become greater, do something now.  Even if you don’t think you need to, give yourself the peace of mind of knowing.  Who wants to know AFTER they’ve had a cardiac event?

I hope you have enjoyed my blogs, found good advice, support, hope for your own success, realized life has ups and downs, and found a touch of humor in the journey.  That’s what my own blogging has done for me.  So I plan to continue the chronicle on MySpace, visit me at http://www.myspace.com/just_evelyn for future updates on my progress.

Well, this phase of the show is over, and yes, I, the fat lady, am singing.  Not as fat as I was, but thrilled beyond words with what I have done in 100 days.  When the curtain rises again, I hope to be half the woman I was, and twice the person I am now.  This show is currently in production and will open in the near future to rave reviews, and when it does, it will never close, because there will no longer be any fat lady to sing.   See you at the show!

Unknown until Thursday, but I got your attention, didn’t I?  However, more important than that, my personal results are in, for the most part, and I have definitely won something major for myself.  I lost a total of 40.5 pounds, 8 inches off my waist, lowered my blood pressure and blood sugar, cut my medications BIG TIME (although I don’t believe they take that into consideration, I sure do!), and raised my good cholesterol by SIX points.  Raising good cholesterol is harder than lowering bad cholesterol.  My bad cholesterol did go up by 3 points, but it is still well within the healthy range and I read that changes in diet can in the short term cause cholesterol to go up.  Doesn’t make sense, since I’ve been eating so much more healthy than in the past, but that’s okay.  It also might have been because of dehydration, but I don’t have time to be re-tested, so the results stand.  I’m definitely healthier today than I was 100 days ago, and I’m looking forward to the next 100 days, my goal being to lose at least 25 more pounds by the end of that time.

To all the amazing ladies who competed this year, all of you are winners and in my eyes truly deserve the “big prize.”  You are inspiring and dedicated and proof that we women can live our busy, hectic lives and still find time to take care of ourselves and teach our families good health habits for a lifetime.  Thank you to all who have been with me on this journey, from reading my blogs to sitting with me in class to listening to the treadmill late at night to working patiently with me in the gym to teaching me life-changing lessons to cheering me onward and upward, you have kept me going when I wasn’t sure I would or could, and my success is our success.  You have had been an integral part of, and had a great hand, in helping me become who I am today, and who I will be in the hundreds of 100 days to come.  God bless you all for what you have done for me, for others, and for yourselves.

Today was our last nutrition class, and Mike, an IHC head chef, was our guest.  He is a really neat person, very funny and it was a fabulous ending to our series of classes.  He made some delicious dishes for us to try and really gave us an in-your-face kind of truthful approach to life and weight loss.  His own story is inspiring and I appreciate the time he took to teach this morning.

It was great to see the ladies for one of the last few times.  Most everyone was there, and I was shocked at how amazing everyone looked.  Everyone has changed for the better during this last 100 days.  I mostly see it in people’s faces.  Thinner, healthier, and without a doubt happier.  I left with no doubt that there are others who will win this competition, and deservedly so.  For a few moments, I wished I could have or should have done more.  But then I heard both Shirley and Rosemary say how they felt they had been sabotaged most of these 100 days.  And I agreed, life has a way of doing that frequently.  But regardless, they have both made tremendous progress, as have all of the ladies I saw today.  And I have as well.  I was about to write that I could have done more, but in thinking about that, it’s both true and not true.  I definitely could have done more.  But at the same time, I did what I could.  Make any sense?  I have continued to live my life, meet it’s daily challenges, and still become more healthy.  Isn’t that what I set out to do?  Isn’t that what I keep encouraging all of you to do?  Don’t put your lives on hold or in upheaval to accomplish better health.  BABY STEPS.  TORTOISES.  Little changes have made a big difference in my life.  Others have been able to make huge changes in 100 days, and I am the first to applaud them.  They are truly an inspiration to me.  But not everyone can make big changes.  Everyone CAN make little changes.  Whole wheat instead of white.  Stairs instead of elevator.  If you truly take inventory of your lives, you can find the little ways to make your lives more healthy.  Do one good thing for yourself today.  And who knows, maybe in 100 days you’ll see how much those little changes made a big difference for you, too.

Wow, I guess time has nearly run out.  I’ve heard rumors that Friday is the last official day of this challenge.  Makes me sad in a way, glad in another.  I will terribly miss all the friends I’ve made in the challenge and all the professionals that have helped change my life.  I’m only glad because it’s really great to be able to look back on 100 days and know that I accomplished something. 

I read Tracey’s blog just a few minutes ago, which is funny because my big exciting news is that I actually weigh 1/2 a pound LESS than my driver’s license says.  I don’t think I told the truth about my weight ever.  Even when I was 16 and didn’t NEED to lie about it, just made sense to shave 20 or more pounds off the truth.  If I keep working hard for the next few days, I should reach a total of 40 pounds of weight loss during this 100 days.  A total of 75 pounds in the last 9 months.  You can’t imagine what it feels like unless you have done it yourself.  There is a sense of freedom and vitality that compares with nothing else I have experienced thus far in my life.  I watched my kids’ dance recital tonight and there was an adult tap group that performed.  I actually considered joining that class.  I might need to shed a few more pounds before that’s realistic, but just the thought of being able to do it someday soon is thrilling to me.  I’m going to hike Timpanogas Cave this summer.  I’ve lived in Utah my whole life and never been there.  And it’s so awesome to know I can do it without killing myself in the process. 

So I have so much to look forward to in the coming months, and I’m deeply grateful for all that this challenge has given to me and meant to me and to my family.  I guess that’s why the song I chose for my title heading came to mind.  Knowing the challenge is ending, but feeling so great about all I’ve learned and where I am today.  As for the future, I guess the song that comes to mind is a part of the song So Close (you probably heard it in the movie “Enchanted”):

We’re so close to reaching
That famous happy end
That we are believing
This one’s not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming
Though we know we are
So close
So close, and still
So far…

So that sums it up for me.  A very happy ending to 100 days, a lower resting heart rate, lower blood pressure, lower medications for diabetes and hypertension, and more health and energy than I can remember having in a long time, so close to a goal of 40 pounds lost, yet still so far from the end of the journey for me.  But I’m just about the happiest tortoise you’ll ever hope to meet.

I had a really interesting experience this weekend.  Well, several, actually.  I attended a national pageant with my little girl in Dallas, TX.  It was a big pageant with lots of girls who regularly compete at the national level and who were “pro’s” by pageantry standards.  We are not pro’s, but have a lot of fun spending time together.  After winners were announced, it was interesting to listen to different mothers talking.  The most vocal moms were not happy with the results.  Several moms told me they thought my daughter was “robbed” and questioned if I happy with the results.  Robbed of what?  She got what the judges felt she earned that weekend, and while it wasn’t the highest title, it was an overall supreme title with cash and prizes, including a new bike.  Yes, I was happy.  I didn’t stress at all during the Saturday of main competition, nor during crowning.  We had fun with our friends and made great memories.  Same event, people feeling very differently about the outcome.

So then in Dallas I board a plane with my little K carrying this huge crown and head to Denver for a connecting flight to Salt Lake.  After running to make our connection, we head home.  As we are preparing to land in Salt Lake, there is unexpected high winds and severe weather.  We attempt to land several times, only to have to burn fuel excessively to pull the plane up and out of the turbulence.  We were dropping 800 feet in a matter of seconds and it was like skipping a rock across a pond.  After these attempts, the plane was diverted back to Denver, unable to land in Salt Lake.  The entire U of U baseball team was on board, and some made use of the airsick bags.  Not pretty.  Thought maybe little K and I’d end up a sideline story in some remake of “Marshall”, but we left SLC alive and still airborne.  I heard so much cussing from those Utes, I had to joke and say that if the BYU team had been on board, they would have been prayin’ instead of swearin’!  So I prayed extra hard to make up for those Utes.  My husband’s a Ute fan, so I figured God owed me a favor for marrying him in spite of that fact.  Unfortunately, during the attempted landing the turbulence had not only damaged the plane, but we used too much fuel and had to make an unscheduled landing in Grand Junction, a little regional airport.  Definitely not equipped to handle a 150 passenger flight.  So after about an hour on the tarmac, we are led into the small lobby to wait for a new plane and TSA security agents to re-screen us before boarding.  We were the last to unload, and the lobby was full, but a really nice man gave up his couch so little K could get some sleep.  At 1:00 a.m.  I finally gave into my hunger and ate 4 mini kit-kats from K’s bag and a bag of Doritos from vending.  Didn’t want the Doritos, but a lady had only $1 and bought herself a bag.  Of course it got stuck in the machine.  So I bought one, too, so they would both drop.  You got to look out for each other like that.  Pay it forward, a bag of Doritos for a couch for a little girl (I would have bought the Doritos for her regardless).  We finally boarded and arrived in SLC around 7 a.m. Monday morning, only to wait another hour for luggage that never arrived (just us personally, not everyone), and then drive more than an hour home.  But in spite of it all, I was immensely grateful.  For the wisdom of the pilots and those in charge, for being able to have another safe place to land since we couldn’t safely make it to Denver, and just being able to get home to my loved ones.  But when we were in Grand Junction, and as I laid and/or sat uncomfortably on the cement floor of the lobby, about 3 a.m two teenage girls started talking.  One was rather loud.  She was calling the pilot a moron, and was angry at the situation.  She said he was too chicken to land the plane when we had been cleared by air traffic control at least twice to land.  She used a lot of other negative words and wasn’t the least bit thankful or appreciative of the situation, neither the one we had just been through nor the one we were in now.  Same events, people feeling very differently about the outcome.

So it goes with life.  We can all walk down similar paths and exit with very different views.  It’s all about your ‘tude, dude.  The attitude with which you approach your life and the challenges you face, the situations you must endure.  Attitude affects so much of what we do, what we say, and the way we treat others, including ourselves.  And gratitude is a huge factor in that, another ‘tude, dude.  So I just want to say how grateful I am for all that I have.  For the opportunities this challenge has brought, for a change of attitude toward my ability to be successful and enjoy a healthy lifestyle every single day the rest of my life.  For the support and love of my family, and while I was sad not to have made it home on Mother’s Day, I was even more happy to see them all the next morning.  I have officially lost 35 pounds as of today, and it was a great Mother’s Day gift to myself.  I hope that in some small way my blogging has helped your ‘tude.  That you now know that you, too, can find success and health in your life, even with its ups and downs, surges and setbacks, and everyday challenges.  And that it’s okay to eat 4 mini kit-kats and a bag of Doritos in Grand Junction at 1:00 a.m.  Just tell them Evelyn sent you.

Well, there are about 18 days left in the challenge.  I have been EXTREMELY tempted to double my workouts, cut my calories, and try to really push for the last days.  But I can’t.  What if it came down to the difference between winning or not winning this competition?  I still can’t.  Not because I physically couldn’t, because I know I could, but it would be so difficult on my family and very disruptive to my life right now.  I have a good rhythm going, and it’s slow, but it’s micro-cosmically successful.  It’s zen, a great state of balance that I have managed with great difficulty over the last 80 days to achieve.  80 days, remember that book, Around the World in 80 Days?  I love that book.  That’s how I feel.  I’ve been around my own personal world in 80 days, with much adventure, a great many mishaps and successes, but I’m finally home.  Finally at a place that I can be comfortable living the rest of my life.  It’s good to be home.  A much-improved home, a healthier home, a more fit home, but still home.  I finally have all that I need to continue this program on my own.  Am I sad the end is so near?  Absolutely.  I LOVE these ladies (and Josh) that I have been so privileged to share this journey with.  They have lifted me, brought me up when I was down, and cared personally for me.  They have inspired me, taught me, trained me, and set my feet firmly on the path of success.  But like a fledgling bird ready to leave the nest, I am strong enough to conquer this without all of my beloved support system (I’m still keeping a few fans on the sidelines).  It’s a feeling of great power, to finally realize after so many years that I can succeed at this.  I have failed so many times.  And while I may have “setbacks” along the way, I will never fail again.  I’m more grateful for that knowledge, for that recognition, that I am for any of the weight lost or health gained.  Because that will carry me further down the road.  I look forward to the next milestones in my own journey, and I know I will achieve them.  It’s no longer a matter of if, but of when.  Since September 2007, I have lost a total of 70 pounds, nearly 35 of which have been during this 100 day challenge.  I saw a photo of me taken during spring break recently.  Yes, I still look fat, but maybe not as fat?  I think I look a lot thinner in my mind, but at least I feel a lot thinner.  I have more than 70 pounds still to lose, so I’m not even halfway there, but I’m so grateful I’m on the 2nd half instead of adding to the 1st!!  To all the ladies competing, good luck in these final days, may you have loved this experience as much as me, and may you all have a lifetime of success, not just 100 days.

Outside my front room window to the east are the mountains.  I have a pretty decent view from here, and when the sun came up this morning above the white-frosted craggy tops, it was beautiful.  The same kind of breath-taking beautiful I felt the first time I saw the ocean (I was in my teens) or the first time I visited the Cayman Islands (2006).  A really deep down peaceful sort of beauty that helps you feel right about the world.  I loved the Caymans.  The people there are amazing, and live life with such an easy-going attitude.  For example, my daughter was a reigning World Queen and we attended their country pageant there.  The pageant was an HOUR late getting started, closer to 1 1/2 hours, but NO ONE cared.  Except us “Westerners”, as they call us.  They had music going, and people were dancing, chatting, just relaxing and having fun while they waited for it to start.  The Serenity Prayer is embedded in their lives.  Americans would have been freaking out, probably cussing, and by the time it started, been so upset they didn’t even enjoy it.  Stress is a huge factor in all of our lives, and I’ve wondered how much it personally affects my health and weight loss.  I haven’t lost any weight so far this week, and so I did a little personal inventory.  Actually, since Monday I have had near-perfect days.  I haven’t missed a workout, and my meals have been within my allotments for the most part.  But I’ve been feeling stressed.  As I let the sunshine pouring over the mountain tops filter through me, I wondered how much of the stress in my life I could let go of, I could avoid by gaining a different perspective.  No doubt this journey has changed my perspective on a great deal, and I have no doubt it will continue to change in the coming months.  I’ve been paying pretty good attention to my physical health, but I look over the last couple of weeks and realize I need to pay attention to my mental health as well.  I’ve adopted a nearly new lifestyle physically, and I could use the same change mentally.  I’d like to start it with the same 10 day trip to the Caymans I previously enjoyed as a kick-off, but I’ll settle for some peace and quiet, a good movie, 100 calorie bag of popcorn and some ice water.  Which since the kids have already left for school, I’m going to enjoy right now.  But first, I’d like to share the entire Serenity Prayer with you.  Most of you know the first part, but here it is in it’s entirety.  I think I shall adopt it as my new mantra.  May it’s principles bless all our lives. 

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

–Reinhold Niebuhr

I have to tell you how much I love our nutrition classes.  Not just because Jalaine is so great, and we learn tons of new info that is so incredibly helpful, but because I get a chance to chat with the other gals in the challenge.  And given my last week of feeling like some sort of freak, it was greatly needed.  So I left this morning’s class feeling a lot more normal.  It was good to hear that we all have concerns and fears about our health progress.  Everything from the weight scale to our food to our blood test results.  And we are all driven to some degree by our feelings and emotions when it comes to eating.   Jalaine summed it up perfectly when she said she believes we ALL have some kind of eating disorder.  It’s nice to know I’m not alone.  We may not all have the same reasons why we do something, we come at it from different directions, but the end result is that we have similar fears and concerns.  Will this one bite of fudge brownie ruin everything I’ve worked for?  Will I gain weight?  Will it leave me out of control, start a downward spiral?  Will it destroy my cholesterol I’ve been sweating for 75 days to lower (Shelly, I’m with ya sweetie!)?  And the unspoken fear among many of us in the program is what will happen AFTER the 100 days.  Will we continue with the same progress?  Will we forge ahead, or fall behind?  There is a great deal of external accountability right now, but when we stop emailing Traci our weights, when we stop seeing each other in class, what will happen?  I think we should all come to the next February’s heart health workshop for a reunion.  Maybe a little future accountability to stand up in front of all the new gals and see how it truly changed our lifestyles over the long haul.

I spent a lot of time thinking about this challenge the last day or so.  There are only 23 days left.  I mentioned in class today the speech given by the last woman who won the challenge.  She spoke at the kick-off seminar, and I was so inspired by her.  She talked about not having any refined sugar for the entire hundred days, and hardly any bread.  She is a really neat person, and has amazing willpower.  But it took me about 3 days to realize how personally unrealistic that was.  Nothing I have to say hereafter is meant in any way to take away from what she did.  But that’s just not real, or real life.  And what good does it do, to deprive yourself of something that you don’t intend to continue your whole life?  I’ve said it before, and here it is again:  I’ve tried not to do anything in this 100 days that I can’t and won’t continue.  Does it mean my progress has been less than it could be?  Sure.  Absolutely.  But the bottom line is this:  I’m a real person, with real life struggles, problems, challenges, and I have to balance all of that with taking better care of myself.  Forever.  My personal home gym will be complete by the end of this challenge, most of it is in place now.  I want so badly to make sure I can continue the workouts, and home is the best place for me down the road because of my family life and my children’s needs.  And you know what, I never cared about winning this competition.   Truly, not even once.  I desperately needed, and still need, what this program offers to me as a way to gain back my life.  Travel vouchers are great, but so insignificant next to dying 15-20 years too soon because of my weight, diabetes, high blood pressure, you name it.  Or worse, suffering such bad health for years before dying too soon.  But after thinking, I’ve decided I would like it if I won this competition.  Want to know why?  Because I want other people, especially women, to know that it’s possible to succeed.  Not from some supergirl who runs 5 miles every morning, or never eats refined sugar, or who does everything right, but from someone who does plenty of it wrong.  From someone who falls and fails regularly, who is just an average-joe person.  Who doesn’t need to lose 5 vanity pounds, but has a long way to go and keeps going in spite of the ups and downs.  Someone who sometimes eats the wrong foods, misses her workouts occasionally, but just keeps going.  Picks up the pieces and steps forward again.  After all, those are the people who really inspire me.  Not that I’m looking to be some grand inspiration, but I do want people to feel like they can do it, too.  Big things, big changes in their lives, but over time, baby steps to the finish line, two steps forward for every one step back.  That’s me, in a nutshell.  There’s nothing about me that would make me more successful than you.  You can do this.  Yes, you really can.  For 100 days, for 1000 days, for as long as it takes, which should, and hopefully will be, your entire life, may it be long.  Just do it one day at a time.  Today’s the only day you need to worry about.  You can’t change yesterday, and tomorrow is just that, tomorrow.  Be the best and do the best you can today.  And yes, that “best” is different every single day.  Never quit, and just know that when the road is long and lonely, I’m right there with you.  We may live miles apart, but I’m treading that same highway one footfall at a time.  And we’re both going to make it.

I’ve always known I was an emotional eater, but I never really realized how deep-seated into my psyche this went.  I learned a great deal about this problem in my life this week.  I think about people who grew up during the Depression, not a personal one, the Great one.  I know several of them.  They are some of the most conservative people you will ever meet.  They will save two spoonfuls of corn in a Tupperware container if it’s left over from dinner, and what’s more, they will actually use it again later.  Some are very frugal with the amounts of food they eat at a meal, while others of this same era have 7 course meals at each sitting.  And still save the leftover corn.  Both habits, different results of the same deprivation, come from living through a long period with having little or nothing to eat, or having food extremely controlled, rationed.  Food is life.  We know that.  It’s instinct.  And the real or threatened lack of it can substantially change us emotionally and mentally.  Just look at what’s happening all over the world right now regarding wheat and rice.  Before you make some wise crack about my age, I did NOT grown up in the Great Depression.  Mine was more a personal one.  I grew up pretty poor.  Actually, very poor, what with 8 kids in my family.  I’m not ashamed to say that because a great deal of who I am as a person comes from that, both good qualities and bad, both of which give me my strengths to lift me up and my weaknesses to make me imperfect and give me something (lots of some-things) to work on.  I tend to lavish my kids too much.  I spend WAY too much on holidays for my kids.  My kids participate in music lessons, sports, dance, pageants, and whatever else they want.  I want them to have every opportunity to discover who they are, what talents they possess, and what they want for themselves in this life.  But I also appreciate everything I have, truly, because I haven’t forgotten what it means to go without.  I have food storage.  I love to shop, but I am thrifty, always looking for a bargain or sale and I’ve learned to use my talents to extend what’s available to my family.  I am repulsed by debt and constantly strive to maintain the kind of lifestyle that could go into survival mode upon the occurrence of any serious tragedy or loss of income without alot of fuss or dependence on anyone else.  But I still use food to comfort myself.  It’s as natural to me as crying when you are sad.  If you feel anything other than happy, food can instill a sense of safety and security and well-being better than anything else.  So my untrained personal analysis of this is that because I grew up with a real and/or threatened lack of food, which again I think to a child can seem like a threat on your very life, however real or imagined, food then represents a guarantee that everything’s going to be okay.  You’re going to live, you’re going to make it through whatever challenge or difficulty you face.  So my life isn’t, nor ever was, truly in danger, but I still react the same way.  This week was tough for some reason.  I felt more down that I have felt at any time since I began this program.  Not just because it’s hard, because if anyone says it isn’t, they either lying or skinny.  It is hard, but it was hard to begin with, and it will always be hard for me.  I know that living this way will probably never be easy for me, my body and my psyche are going to guarantee that.  I still fear failure.  I don’t care if I win this challenge, but I don’t want to be dead last (no pun intended).  I fear I’ll gain back what I’ve lost, that at some point it will overcome me instead of the other way around.  Friends aren’t always what they should be, nor are your parents and family.  24 hours isn’t enough time in a day to get it all done.  And the day in-day out of life is a challenge for all of us.  And it drives me to be tempted to eat emotionally.  I don’t know when I’m hungry.  I used to never eat breakfast or lunch nearly every single day, and it never bothered me.  It’s not about eating all the time for me, but when things are tough I naturally turn to food.  I have several good diversionary tactics, but this week they seemed weak and certainly didn’t keep me from eating half a can of fruit and nut mix.  At one sitting.  And a 6-pack of Skinny Cow ice cream (not at one sitting).  So I hope to find more courage this week, more solid ways to cope with my emotions other than food, and more joy in the journey.  After all, my journey is a lifetime, and that’s a long time to go without joy.  Although I might need to make it without any more Skinny Cows.

So today was a huge milestone for me, I am officially down 30 pounds from my start weight.  In truth, it’s just the tip of the iceberg in my total needed weight loss, but it’s amazing how different your body can feel shedding 30 pounds.  I also had to take this health screening and survey for my husband’s work, and when I got the results, I was shocked.  It gave me a physical age of 34.5 years with a chronological age now of 39.  Pretty cool, huh?  I’m already adding years to my life expectancy with good health habits.  That’s nice to know, especially coming from an independent source.

Today’s nutrition class was awesome as always, and I particularly liked the focus on avoiding food pitfalls.  It was interesting to hear from everyone, it further emphasized to me how we come at this from such different points of view and different needs, all trying to achieve the same goals.  Some can splurge just a bit, others must avoid the temptation altogether.  The key factor I took from all of this, and my own journey thus far, is that you must discover yourself.  Not FOR yourself,   YOUR   SELF.

I am science geek.  Self-proclaimed, Star Trek-uniforming wearing, science magazine reading, planetarium member, Hubble scope-watching nerd.  I can’t wait until the day I can afford a huge powered telescope.  I even spent an extra day in Jackson, Mississippi, of all places, just to visit their planetarium (if you’ve been, you’ll know I was disappointed).  I spent an entire day at the space and science center in St. Louis, MO, and another at the OMSI in Portland, OR, and I wished I could stay longer.  The mere idea of new ideas, new discoveries, new revelations, makes me salivate.  So the journey to a smaller and more healthier person is the same process.  Only personal.  VERY personal.  You must take the journey to discover for yourself what you are about.  What works for you, what doesn’t, who and what helps, and who and what hinders your progress, and how you can live with your lifestyle changes the rest of your life.  You can and should listen to all the advice and information around you.  Information -knowledge- is very powerful.  But you should glean from it what you need to be personally successful, and don’t worry if it’s not what someone else needs or does.  Alot of this goes back to principles from Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole, another one of my recommended books.  Learning to understand and listen to your body.  Sometimes mine says swear words, but I try to ignore those and just get on the treadmill anyway.  Right now I’m learning to balance what I want with what I SHOULD want, my body and I haven’t been on speaking terms (except for the swear words) for such a long time that it’s going to take a while to re-commune.  We are making progress, however.  I am needing personal interventions with my body less and less as it gives in to my superior will (it still swears, though).

So start the journey.  Today.  Just take that first baby step to a better you.  Especially if you are like me and not only need to move forward in a more healthy direction, but actually need to grind the gears in reverse to reclaim even a portion of health you may have already lost.  And grinding gears is hard, so don’t lose any more time, the farther forward in bad health you go, the harder and longer it is to get back.  I know.  I’ve got a long way to go, but I’ve also come a long way.  And in the end, it will pay off.  That’s my solemn promise to you.  That you will “Live Long and Prosper.”